Teary-eyed, I stopped at the only traffic light in Belmopan. It was 5:25 a.m.. In the five-minute drive since leaving the house, I surrender all my thoughts to Him for the third time. When the light turned green, I chose to breathe with intention. I inhaled God’s peace and exhaled my circumstances. His peace is strong enough to take away my fears regarding the searing sensation in my shoulder. I’m hurting but hopeful as I inhale and exhale. Hurting physically but hopeful spiritually. It is what it is. In 9 days, our daughter will get married in the United States, and in 14 days, I will have surgery on my shoulder in Guatemala.
I Surrender All
As I lean into His understanding and let go of mine, that is the beginning of my surrender. All day, each time a worry reared its head, I chose to surrender my desire to control it all.
My internal dialogue followed this format all day: “But what if…” “Forgive me, Lord, I surrender.” I don’t believe it’s wrong to doubt or question God. That’s not my issue. My issue is a deep need for peace—a longing for a calm thought life free from fear.
In Psalm 46:1-3 the Psalmist proclaims:
God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. Therefore, we will not be afraid, though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the seas, though its water roars and foams and the mountains quake with its turmoil. Selah
I’ve been reading and re-reading Psalm 46. Verse 1 tells me who God is. He is our Refuge, our Strength, and our Helper. He is always there for us when we are in need. The Psalmist states, “We will not be afraid.” It’s a choice. Not a feeling. It is a lesson for us that we can choose how to respond no matter our circumstances.
My intention to not be afraid drives my heart to surrender repeatedly throughout the day, as many times as necessary. What is your intention, dear one? What issue are you facing or have faced that needs surrendering to Him? The fight for peace is not a fight; it’s truly a simple but not easy, surrender.