One piece by deliberate piece, it will all come together. One hundred twenty-six days ago, I started walking 10,000 steps a day. I’ve prayed, cried, and sweated mile after mile, listening and longing for deep divine connection and better understanding. This transilient experience from Belize to the USA has left me spinning in the wind, trying to grasp the lesson in this move. ‘Transilient’ is a new word added to my collection yesterday.
No matter how much my husband and I have learned, grown, and experienced over the past 18 years of missionary life, nothing could fully prepare us for this season. It doesn’t matter how far I walk, how long I cry out, or how hard I pray; the answers aren’t forthcoming. Or so it seems when looking at scripture through the foggy lens of grief. Piece by deliberate piece, I’m putting this puzzle together. The end pieces with straight edges are supposedly the easiest to work with. Somehow, this puzzle has no straight edges.
I read through the book of Luke for the first 24 days of each month, using the remaining days to reread highlighted passages and ponder the significance of Christ’s words. A passage from Luke 2 comes to mind,
“But why did you need to search?” he asked. “Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49 NLT
Why Did You Need To Search?
Why have I felt the need to search for Christ in this season? I know He is always with me. I understand that piece. But like Mary and Joseph, I felt the need to go back and look for Him in the last place we were together. I worried that I might have missed a piece of His guidance along the way.
This morning, I walked five miles, circling the park to get my steps out of the way before a trip to the dentist. I put in my AirPods and listened to Anthony Evans’s latest CD. As I relaxed into the sounds of worship, I scanned the scenery and pondered my surroundings.
I saw a man crouched low with his dog coming out of this tunnel. The man’s footprints dried quickly, but the dog’s prints lingered. At that moment, I realized that even when we can’t see God’s footprints, it doesn’t mean that He leaves us to walk alone.
He is in His Father’s house, and our bodies are that house. He. Is. Here. Jesus, Immanuel, is with us. And we don’t have to search for Him. Instead, we practice His presence. We acknowledge Him in each aspect, circumstance, and season of our lives. No dwelling in the past or being anxious about the future. Just experiencing the gift of His grace in the moment. One piece by deliberate piece at a time.