I remember the exact date I lost my childhood faith: February 22, 1985. I had believed with all my heart that Jesus would raise our daughter from the dead. But after four days of praying, hoping, and believing for a miracle, our first child, Patricia Kaye, came into the world stillborn.
Then Jesus shouted, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes… Jesus told them, ‘Unwrap him and let him go.’ John 11:43–44
On February 19, 1985, I’d gone in for what I thought was a routine appointment. The nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat. The doctor couldn’t either. An ultrasound confirmed what my heart refused to believe—at 27 weeks, our baby had died in utero. I was only 21 years old, and I simply couldn’t process it. Four days later, after waiting for my doctor to return from the funeral of his best friend, labor was induced. That night, when Patricia was stillborn, my faith flatlined.
The Long Wait
Four days after Lazarus died, Jesus called him out of the grave and told those standing by, “Unwrap him, and let him go.” Sometimes that unwrapping, that process of healing and being made new, takes years. My faith wasn’t restored overnight. I prayed for others and saw God move, but it took a long time before I could see that He was also rebuilding something in me.
Six years ago, a loved one lost a child shortly after birth. I had walked with many women through loss before, but this time was different. When I visited with her, I didn’t relive my own pain, I felt hers. For the first time, compassion outweighed my sorrow. It was as if God gently removed the last burial cloth that had kept me bound to grief.
Let Him Unwrap You
Do you feel bound by any old wounds? Do you find yourself constantly comparing your pain to someone else’s? I pray the Holy Spirit will begin to unwrap the grave clothes around your heart and set you free. May your faith be restored to its factory setting; made to worship, to love, and to be loved by Him. And may we find ourselves unbound, embracing all the life, healing, and joy He has to offer.
*For those of you who prayer walk, ask God to unwrap any old hurts and let you go free. And for this week’s screensaver, click here.